Ask any woman how many times she’s laid on her back, bored and frustrated, her clit having retreated deep inside her, with some unfortunate, badly educated man between her legs, lapping like a thirsty dog, his tongue aching and almost numb, the only stiff part of him being his neck. I think you’ll be surprised at the answer.
I blame bad communication and porn. Remember the last time you watched a man giving oral sex on camera? She was probably already naked when the film started. He will probably have given her tits a quick squeeze before going down on her, diving straight in, separating her lips and licking away furiously like a man possessed. If this is how you give head to your woman, you need to keep reading. Sure, the female arousal process can be very complicated. But once you understand a few things, your neck and jaw are going to thank me.
You see, the best oral sex isn’t about how long you spend desperately licking and sucking (with a couple of fingers inside for good measure). The best oral sex is the climax of a chain of events. It’s about priming the territory, knowing how to exploit her desire to be delicately tortured and masterfully creating a sweet build-up to the point where you decide to hand over control.
The good news is it’s not difficult. You just need to understand one golden rule: employ the art of teasing. To deny a woman what she wants until the last possible moment is to have her coming harder than ever. You must learn to divert your attention away from the obvious areas, which are, in general ascending order (but variable from woman to woman): her nipples, ass, G-spot and clit. You want her to have an amazing oral orgasm, so build up to the climactic moment and use her whole body. Tell her what you’re going to do so she can anticipate it, but exert full control over how much she gets and when.
As you’re telling her your plans, nibble her ears and pull her hair backwards to expose her neck. Caress, kiss and bite it and put a hand down her knickers to make fleeting contact. Don’t leave your hand down there long. Grope her thighs and don’t be afraid to be strong and assertive – if she knows you’re in charge she won’t know what to expect. Pay her breasts some attention. Leave her bra on to begin with and unveil one nipple at a time, always leaving her wanting more. You’ll know when you’re achieving this, because she’ll try and put your head and your hands where she wants them. Allow this only in moderation – she thinks she knows what she wants, but soon you’ll know better.
When you think she’s ready to be pleasured by your tongue, hold off a bit longer still, then start off slowly. If you’ve just got home from a night out or she’s walked in from work, keep her half- or even fully dressed. There’s something exquisite about receiving oral sex in your best clothes – it seems like you shouldn’t be doing it, which only adds to the excitement. Push her skirt up and keep her legs closed. Hopefully she’s wearing skimpy knickers, so pull them to one side and slide your tongue over her clit and between her lips. Keep her thighs closed with your elbows. She’ll try to open them to give you better access – don’t let her. It will drive her wild – all she wants to do is fully expose herself to you and you’re stopping her. Apply some pressure with your tongue and use steady, flat, up-and-down strokes, but only two or three times. Before she settles into a rhythm that eventually leads to orgasm (you’ll know by her consistent hip movements), move away from that area and pay some more attention to her nipples. Reaching down behind her with one hand, find some of her wetness, squeeze her derriere and tease the hole with a finger. Slip it inside a little way if she responds.
All this time, her legs should still remain together – keep them bound with yours. When you think she’s really getting fired up, separate them with a knee and slide it up to meet her pussy. Let her rub against it for a second and after leaving her nipples rock hard with a few parting, feather-light licks, you can go back down south. Free her legs and let her ride your face to ecstasy – this time, you should be down there a mere minute or two. Quickly get into a rhythm and find out what sensations she prefers – when I’m close, I just adore having my clit firmly sucked, but not too hard. If she isn’t almost suffocating you and you have the freedom to do it, now’s the time to use your fingers and hit the G-spot to make it an orgasm to remember.
Of course, I’m not suggesting you follow the same pattern of events every time. That was just an example. The idea is that you don’t fall into an oral routine where she’ll know what you’re going to do before you even start. Vary your movements, hold back, tease the hotspots and then let her have it. Too many people assume that the intimacy, the very notion of oral sex is enough to get a woman off with one flick of the tongue. But we’re not 17 anymore. You’ll have to be more imaginative. Trust me – it will pay off.
By Christina Wellor
Via: GQUK